This is a drawing I created out of pain and frustration a few years ago. DH and I had had a fight and I was torn up inside. I was tired of the same fights with the same outcomes and the same moments of despair of what I was going to do next. So I drew.
I removed a piece of paper from the cabinet, located a photograph of an owl on my smartphone internet browser, sat at the kitchen table and sharpened a pencil. I sketched, smudged, erased and darkened until the piece looked the way I wanted it to. I don't know how long it took me, I was lost in the moment. My children peered over my shoulder every once in a while and admired the work in action.
When I was satisfied, I digitized the drawing and have kept it in my phone ever since, as a reminder that I have personal stressor outlets even when I think I don't. Occasionally I sketch. Sometimes I write poems. Often I take baths until the water turns cold. Sometimes I listen to music. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I sew clothing. All the time, I find a way to distract myself. Why do I do this? Because I have had days, weeks and even months when I have not used an outlet. I have had seasons when I have not distracted myself, and the results have been more than counterproductive. I have had nervous break downs. I have had anxiety attacks. I have had episodes of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD). I have slipped into situational depression for months at a time. I have even been admitted to a mental hospital to deal with what I did not want to deal with in my life.
If you don't know what your outlets are, find them. They are more valuable than you may recognize right now. It doesn't have to be extravagant or amazing or cost loads of money. It can be a walk in the sunshine or in the dusk evening hours, it can be a bicycle ride, it can be tinkering around your house, it can be listening to your favorite music album, it can even be cleaning your car or your home. When the time comes, you will be grateful you have these outlets. Start slow. Work with what you know and enjoy the simple things in life that bring you joy and satisfaction.
As I develop my Poetry Corner on this blog, you will see this Owl frequently. I have decided to use The Owl as a signature to the poems I have written over the years. Perhaps it will be a reminder to you as well to find your outlet, use your outlet and embrace the moments of meditation you create for yourself.
~Elizabeth~
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