I'll tell you why. Sometimes I have had to ask myself the same question in extremely difficult seasons and episodes. First and foremost, I have NEVER feared for my safety, neither emotionally nor physically. I have never, ever felt or believed myself to be threatened in all the years I have been with DH. I have never feared for my children's safety. You must, above all else, know this information. I have never in any way been afraid of harm toward me or my children from DH.
Second, just as the clouds disburse after a torrential storm and the sun makes it way through, so too does my personal sun emerge. You see, I am madly in love with DH. I am madly in love with who he is as a person. I am madly in love with the person he is underneath the illness, underneath his mental disability. I am madly in love with the sunny seasons that come my way every single year. When things are good in our relationship, things are REALLY good!
DH has a side that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. DH is a prankster. He loves playing jokes and pranks. He has pulled many and has caused so much laughter in my world. A personal favorite prank of mine is when DH decided to buy a particular product online. I was taking a bath and he produced a powder that turns water into a gelatinous goo. He dumped the powder into my bathtub faster than I could blink and waited for my squealing response. My bath water thickened and globbed around me into a lumpy texture. After he had picked himself up off the floor from laughing, he poured in the antidote, another powder that mysteriously liquidated the goo once again to thin water which effortlessly emptied down the drain and un-suctioned itself from my skin.
DH is spontaneous and adventurous. Our adventures have taken us, as a couple, rock climbing, cave walking, mountain hiking, Disneyland and Disneyworld touring, ship cruising, Mexico exploring, geo thermal water swimming, snorkel attire wearing, deep sea fishing, theater going, 1500 feet above mountains air gliding soaring excursionists. I think I got it all, oh wait no, we have been horse back riding, glass bottom boat touristing, snow mobiling, car show and RV show spectatoring, out door concert listening activists.
So now you may be thinking, "well you gold digger! You are only in it for the adventures he provides". I can promise you, if my dedication to him was that surface level, I would not have stuck around for all the manic-depressive seasons that accompany these great adventures.
DH and I have a connection so deep and so profound, I don't believe it is possible to write it on paper. I don't know how to express the surge of emotions and feelings I continue to get 17 years later. In my belly, feelings of thrill and exhilaration travel up through my chest and tingle down my arms when I look into his eyes, when his fingers softly move back and forth across the top of my forarm, when his soft kisses flutter my insides. As cliché as it sounds, as gagging as it is, we truly know each other's thoughts often. We finish each other's sentences. We share similar opinions. And we share dishes in restaurants if neither of us are really that hungry. We call each other "honey" and "love" and "sweetheart". We know each other's love language and we both make efforts to speak the other's love language often. DH's love language is gifts and service. My love language is touch and words of affirmation. Sometimes we forget, but for the most part, we try to speak each other's language through acts and deeds.
DH wears his heart on his sleeve. When I hurt, he hurts. When I cry, he comforts me. When I become excited and giddy he laughs with elation. DH is romantic. He sends me flowers just because. I receive gifts unexpectedly at the office and at home. DH takes me to action-packed movies just to see me jump out of my seat, squeeze his hand and smack his knee repeatedly during intense scenes. DH takes me to fine dinner restaurants and treats me like a queen.
DH humors all the start-up businesses I have tried and supports me in my career aspirations. He encourages me in all that I want to do and all that I want to accomplish. DH loves me the way no other human being ever has or ever will.
You see, being madly in love with DH is easy and effortless. He brings me joy and satisfaction. Why do I stay with him? Because there is no other human being on this earth that I want to spend the rest of my life with. There is no other besides DH.
When the manic-depressive seasons hit for six months out of the year, I know that the last six months have been amazing and in six more months, when the manic-depressive season ends, as it always does; I know that when the time comes, just as the sun rises every morning, I have thrilling, exciting, fantastic experiences awaiting me at the edge of the world with DH by my side.
~Elizabeth~
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