In August of last year, Robin's death hit me and and DH pretty hard. Harder than I ever thought something like that would. Before I had the courage to come out with the mental illnesses my family faces daily, I posted the following message on my Facebook wall:
"As I try to wrap my mind around this tragic loss I continue to think about how many people his loss has deeply impacted. Robin was like that distant friend that everyone felt like they knew but didn't, and yet everyone knows of someone, if not themselves, who has struggled or does struggle with depression and mood disorders. Because of these emotional connections, Robin's sudden death strikes us to the core. My heartfelt sympathies go out to Williams' family. My heart breaks for those struggling and suffering every day from the invisible illness we call depression. May we bring mental awareness to the forefront of our society."
~Elizabeth~August 13th, 2014
To expand on this a little further, suicide is something that, it seems, everyone has dealt with yet no one addresses. No truer are the words "you can't judge a book by its cover". Robin was the last person anyone ever expected to take his own life, and yet, he did. He was ill, his mind was ill, he was seeking treatment and even still, the tragedy of his loss of life still happened. How do we deal with that? How do we come to terms with something so unfathomable? If you have lost someone in your life to suicide, I cannot tell you how to grieve. I cannot tell you how to get over survivor's guilt. What I can tell you is that you must allow yourself to grieve. You must allow yourself to feel the survivor's guilt, acknowledge survivors guilt and work through survivor's guilt. Robin would not have wanted his death to be in vain. Learn from his death. Grow from his death. Allow it to strengthen you. Allow Robin's death to provide ways that you can be in tune to mental awareness. Be aware of those around you. Even if you cannot fix the mental illness, even if you cannot cure the mental illness of the ones you love, even if you cannot live with a person with mental illness because it is just too much to be around; tolerate them; love them; treat them as you would any person who does not have a mental illness with the same compassion each of your fellow men and women deserve.
Our society was stunned, heartbroken and in disbelief with Robin's suicidal death. DH came to me shortly after the news broke and said "I don't know why but Robin Williams' death is hitting me so hard!" I couldn't pin point it either. I couldn't pin point it because I didn't know how to respond to it. When someone takes their own life, no one knows what to say. No one knows what comforting words to pull from. No one knows where to find the "balm in Gilead" to soothe their sorrows. Find comfort in the idea that perhaps this person was not being selfish in their final act. Perhaps this person is not damned to Hell for eternity. Perhaps this person was so ill that, as Time Magazine so eloquently illustrates, "Logic becomes unreal. Attention and focus fall apart. The brain is just an organ and at some point it says, 'I can't take the pain anymore. I must take myself out.'"
Within the last week or two, I was up past midnight and probably working on this blog. The TV was on for simple background noise and the movie What Dreams May Come with Robin Williams began on a cable channel. I stopped what I was doing and watched the entire movie. This is probably one of the most sober roles Robin played in is cinematic career. As I searched for the right scene on YouTube to post on my blog, I found this montage and am placing it below for you to view. It touched me. Perhaps it will touch you too. This entire movie deals with death, suicide, mental trappings of the mind, mental rehabilitation and the possibility of redemption of one's life and soul. On my laptop the video is somewhat grainy, so I apologize for that, but the video itself is well done.
Robin's Pain: The Mystery of Suicide and How to Prevent It
Courtesy of Time Magazine
~Elizabeth~
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